Think

Today morning, I received a very nice message from a childhood friend. “Nurture great thoughts as you can never go higher than your thoughts”. How true!!!

Everything in this world is created twice, once in our thoughts and then in reality.

Our thoughts form our opinion about everything. They determine what we like or don’t, consider right or wrong, good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable, moral or immoral, to do or not to and so on.

Our thoughts have huge influence on our self image, our assessment of our strengths or weaknesses, our conception about our capabilities or limitations, what we can or should aspire, our roles, responsibilities and duties etc. They are the sources of our driving force and our dreams. They largely influence how much we can believe on our selves.

Our thoughts determine our priorities and preferences, what we would do ourselves, what we will delegate and what we will not attempt or care about. They determine how we will allocate our time and other resources. Our thoughts influence our strategies, action plans and their implementation.

Our thoughts determine our behaviour with self and others. They influence how we treat people, whether with respect or contempt, as equals or inferiors, as important or useless etc. They determine who we consider as ‘ours’ who as ‘others’ or even ‘enemies’. In an unknown or new land, how a person from our Alma Matter, city, state or country become our own inspite of being a perfect stranger just a while ago.

Our thoughts determine our interpretation about others’ image & opinion about and attitude & behaviour towards us. Same act from two different people or from same person under different circumstances has different effect on us which in turn influences our response or reaction to it.

It is our thoughts that determine our whole concept of what we are and about our whole being.

No one is genetically programmed to think in a particular way. Our thinking is influenced by many factors, external as well as internal.

The first influencers are the parents. They have high impact on what we consider right or wrong and acceptable or unacceptable. They form our initial self image through their positive or negative strokes. They groom us as competitive or collaborative. They influence our interests through various exposures and encouragement. They help us taste our first successes and overcome first failures. They teach us whether to acquire through own effort or be spoon fed. They influence our sense of dependence, independence, self dependence and interdependence. They become our first role models. We do as they do and not only as they say.

Various people in parenting authority in our social circle can also have some influence, especially negative. If the messages they give are in contradiction to our parents’, it can confuse us a lot.

Our teachers have huge impact in our way of thinking, sometimes, even more than the parents. I remember an incident from my daughter’s childhood. We had taught her ‘A for apple, aeroplane, axe, arrow and ankle’. But in the school, the teacher told her that A for apple is right while A for aeroplane is wrong. On inquiring, she explained that while my daughter is smart enough to understand that A can be for many things, there are many children in the class who will get confused. Her duty is to take care of the last person in the line. Thus instead of encouraging others to learn more, she discouraged my daughter so that she learns less.

What kind of limiting influence she would have put on the thinking of so many children?

At the same time, I remember some teachers from my childhood who had huge impact on the way I learnt, behaved, aspired and stood for my beliefs.

The teachers influence the way we learn. Whether we mug up or we try to understand and apply. Whether we accept as it is or do we learn to challenge & question. Whether we own up responsibility or look up for excuses.

The kind of institute we study in and the general culture therein can have high impact on many. Although, all institutes affiliated to a board or university teach the same syllabus and conduct the same exams, the personality, behaviour and success rate of premier institutes’ students is remarkably different from the average ones.

As we grow, our friends start influencing our thought process. A man is known by the company he keeps. In fact, he becomes a lot like it. I got a chance to befriend some really fantastic people and my personality was moulded substantially by observing and emulating them.

Another influencing factor is the kind of organizations we work for, their performance and the culture therein. We spend maximum waking time there. The leaders, managers and peers form the culture and code of conduct. Prolonged behaviour bound by those guidelines can have deep rooted impact on the way we think. Whether we are result oriented or activity oriented, whether we are transparent or secretive, whether we share or hide, whether we collaborate or fight, whether we are progressive or conservative, whether we look at possibilities or constraints is all learnt there..

The spouse has the second highest impact on our thinking. Depending upon the quality of relationship, we either align with or oppose the new thoughts and ideas. This relation can either unshackle us or constrain us. Coincidentally, both harmony and discord can have either of these effects.

The highest impact on our thinking is by us. Each one of us analyses and interprets the same data in a different manner. So many people experience the same environment and receive the same inputs or impulses. However, the impact on each person and their reaction or response is different. Even for one person, same experience or input can evoke different response at different stages of life. Some years back, I enjoyed smoking but not anymore. I used to like some non vegetarian dishes but now I detest the very idea.

Our interpretation of external inputs depends largely on our self image and self worth. Most of the times, we either over estimate our self or under estimate. Many of us have a lopsided understanding of our capabilities and what we deserve.

I recently read a book on leadership. It stated that a leader’s biggest responsibility and contribution are to make people think. Think big, think differently and think beyond limitations. Thinking is a skill and thus can be learnt and then improved through guidance and practice.

In my opinion, since leadership starts from self, it is our prime responsibility to train and coach our own self to think.

To help us do that, we must all read lots of good books (not novels), interact freely with people we consider better than us in any way and have collaborative discussion with peers who also aspire to achieve more than what they already have. We can even copy or emulate the people we admire. Why reinvent the wheel, always?

Thinking deeply, widely and ahead improves our analytical skill. It also improves our sense and communication. We should fearlessly express our thoughts. This will help us get more opinions about that topic.

Ultimately, it is the quality of our thoughts that will determine the quality of our life. So to live a better life, THINK.