Those were the days, my dear… (part 2)

Those were the days, my dear… (part 2)

With our college reunion just 5 days away, naturally, lots of memories are flooding my thoughts. Most of them are good, some bad and a few ugly ones. A lot happened during those youthful four and half years.

The occasion warrants that I first recall the good memories.

The best part of the college life was the friends. I made lots of friends, some of them very close ones. Most of these friendships have survived the ups and downs of last 28+ years.

Definitely, there were the usual activities like spending time together, watching movies, picnics, bird watching, teasing, leg pulling, studying etc. That does not make these friendships special.

Special was the attachment, emotional support and trust in those relationships. We felt confident to take on the world with them backing us. There was never an iota of doubt about their solidarity to our every cause, logical or not. There was never a fear of being left alone in the face of any adversity.

With some friends, the relationship evolved in to closeness with their family also, their parents, their siblings and even their relatives. These friends became our best friends. Even today, there is no dilution in that level of intimacy and closeness. In fact, after marriage, our spouses too have become a part of the gang, in their own right.

A few of these close friends came from the (comparatively) higher strata of the society. Their family’s average education, etiquette, sophistication, finesse, tastes, approach to social issues, topics of discussion was much better than I was exposed to. This gave me a chance to learn a lot on these fronts and refine myself. This is their biggest contribution in my life.

Whenever I got in to trouble, which was quite often, these friends stood like a rock with, before or behind me, as per the need of the hour. I owe a lot to all these friends.

We had a clear principle that no one will try to have an affair with any friend’s sister or sister’s friend since this could become a point of contention. This was strictly followed and it avoided several potential skirmishes. Yes, the society then, and we too, were not comfortable with our sisters having affairs.

It is not that we did not have our share of differences and tiffs. But the idea of breaking away never occurred. It has almost been like blood relations.

Being an only child meant growing up very lonely. I sorely missed, and still do, not having any siblings, especially sisters. I strongly believe that a sister can provide tremendous emotional support and helps you understand the opposite gender much better and vice versa. When we joined final year, a girl joined our college in first year. One of a close friend, an alumnus, had asked me to take care of her. During the year, we met and interacted a lot. Slowly, we got very attached and close. She became, and still is, one of the three Best Friends I made in college and also my God Sister. 1991 was a bad year for me. In those days she and the other two friends, provided me with tremendous emotional support. I do not know if I will ever be able to repay that favour. During these 25+ years, our relationship has only grown stronger.

On 5^th June 1987, on the occasion of World Environment Day, Institution of Engineers organized an Essay Competition. A friend’s father was the organizer and thus we too had to participate therein. I couldn't believe that I won that competition. This one win increased my confidence on my writing skills. The top 3 winners of the competition were interviewed on All India Radio, Kota Station. This was my first interview on any media. Second one, though very short, on Energy Conservation was aired on TV around 3.5 years back. Later the interviewer commended me on my oratory and it was a very encouraging compliment. Such incidents give big boost to our self image and confidence. I still remember carrying  a transistor radio to college for all my friends to hear the interview.

In these four years, I got exposed to Indian Classical Music. Through SPIC MACAY (Society for Promotion of Indian Classic Music and Culture among Youth), I got to watch the performances of so many legends of Indian Music. I even got a chance to personally interact with them. Gangu Bai Hangal (vocal), Pt. C. R. Vyas (vocal), Pt. Hari Prasad Chaurasia (flute), Pt. Shiv Kumar Sharma (santoor), Budh Deb Dasgupta (Sarod), Pt. Birju Maharaj (Kathak), Kumudini Lakhia (Kathak), Yamini Krishnamoorthy (Bharat Natyam), Swapna Sundari (I think Kuchipudi), Radha & Raja Reddy (Kuchipudi) are the artists I can vividly recall. Till date, I do listen to various vocal and instrumental artists very often.

I went on to become the Executive Member of SPIC MACAY Kota Chapter. This was my first responsible membership of any socio – cultural organization.

During this period, I developed a taste for English pop music and ghazals. Pankaj Udhas was my favourite singer. I remembered the lyrics of several of his ghazals and often attempted to sing (??) them much to the chagrin on the listeners. Whenever I feel nostalgic, I still listen to ghazals. Over time, I started liking Late Jagjit Singh also.

In English pop, I had no favourite singer but Michael Jackson, Price, Bruce Springsteen, George Michael, Madonna, Samantha Fox, Whitney Houston were the popular ones. I now think that my liking for English pop music was more to conform than the real one.

Many of my friends were also fond of English Novels, the taste for which I had developed just some time back. This helped me gain access to their collection and I read scores of them during that period. Got a chance to read some English literature also but could not develop a taste for it.

My interest in general knowledge and current affairs continued unabated and I kept reading, quizzing and debating a lot in these areas. Though there was no spectacular success in these areas but I believe that I could win some tacit recognition.

During this period, a neighbourhood friend was connected with Indian People’s Theater Association (IPTA). Through him, I got chance to see some plays and meet some prominent artists of Jaipur. Having participated in half a dozen plays during school days, I enjoyed those interactions. During our Final Year, I wrote and directed my first skit of 15 minutes’ duration. I thoroughly enjoyed this experience. I got a chance to indulge in dramatics in a big way some 19 years later in IPCL MGCC Officers Club where we formed our own theater group ‘Abhivyakti’.

I am not sure how to classify two exposures that I got in those years. I learnt a lot from them but also lost a lot because of them. These are the exposure to student groupism and politics.

After coming to college, for the first time I saw how deeply our society is divided by casts and politics. There was a Rajput Group, a Jat Group, an SC/ST group and a loosely held group of others. Some were associated with Bharatiya Janta Yuva Morcha (BJYM), some with ABVP, some with Yuva Janata Dal and some with NSUI. Then there were city based groups like Kota, Jaipur, Ajmer etc.

All these groups would clash with each other over one pretext or another. Strikes, mass bunkings etc were very common and frequent. We used to take support from external political forces to establish and sustain our superiority or safety. At that time, this appeared very critical to us.

I got deeply involved in these activities at wrong time of my career, in the final year. We even contested college elections and even participated in the campaigning for state legislative  and parliamentary elections. Though I learnt many things about power, leadership, politics, law, networking etc. but am really not sure whether this exposure added any lasting value to my life. In fact, I lost a lot because of this involvement. Will share about that some other time.

A major incident that shook our life and beliefs to the core was the implementation of Mandal Commission report. 27% of all government jobs were now to be reserved for OBCs besides the 22% already reserved for SC/STs. In those days, getting a government job used to be our biggest, if not the only, ambition. Implementation of this decision just when we were about to pass out took the wind out of our sails. It threatened our livelihood. Irresponsible statements by some politicians further vitiated the atmosphere.

Large parts of the country erupted in protest. We too, who strongly opposed this decision of government, jumped in to the fire. Strikes, demonstrations, lathi charges, arrests, stone pelting, Kota Bandh (general strike), black Diwali, post card campaign and so much more happened. Many students across the country lost their lives in self molestation and police firing. Many parents, including mine, also actively participated in the protests in whatever way they could.

Unfortunately, the agitation died due to lack of political support. No party wanted to be seen as anti – reservation. Some scrupulous elements tried to draw undue mileage by faking suicide and self immolation attempts. We could not convince or force the Government to reverse its decision and our life was charred & scarred forever.

This agitation taught me planning and organizing. It also taught me managing conflicts. It taught me to overcome and ignore the past. Our group had to partner with another group with whom we had fought bitterly & violently in elections and outside just a few months back.

I have deliberately left out one of the best memories of those days.