Those we the days my dear (concluding part)

Those Were the Days My Dear (Concluding Part)

We have all read about time machine which shrinks time and take you from one era to another in a jiffy. Believe me I have just experienced it in the last 2 days. 48 hours zipped past so fast as if we went in to a trance the moment we entered the venue of our college reunion and came to senses only after coming out of the place.

No doubt that the programme was packed with activities to keep us occupied and not let us feel bored. But the magic was of the togetherness and bonding that we experienced there.

All those who met were not friends in college days. Many were just acquaintances and some were on the opposing sides also. But I did not experience any difference in the tightness or warmth in the hug from any one. The smiles were genuine and the expressions real.

Honestly speaking, I had expected some coldness and few sparks as well. But, luckily and thankfully, my skepticism was unfounded and the apprehensions did not come true. Everyone was recalling only the finest moments spent with and the best qualities of each other.

Initially it was a challenge to correlate names, old faces and new faces (and bellies). The ground work done during preparatory phase, Whatsapp and Facebook pictures etc helped there. Next challenge was to identify the spouses and catch their names. It took time to know about them. Even more difficult was to connect with the kids. There were so many of them and were always in a hurry to escape our boring clutches.

The venue was a golf resort with lots of indoor and outdoor activities. This was especially enjoyed by the kids who otherwise would have found it difficult to pass their time. Slowly they got friendly with some other kids and started enjoying thoroughly.

I used this opportunity to try my hand on golf. This is one game I have been planning to learn for quite some time. Having tasted it now, I will shrug off the excuses and laziness. I also played cricket after many years though with a tennis ball only. One more thing I relished doing was shooting balloons with an air gun. It used to be a favourite activity in childhood and scored 100% shots now also.

There was so much more to do. Special attention was paid on entertainment of spouses and children. Musical chairs, Housie, Antakshari, Nail Art, Tattoo, Mehendi (Henna), Tug of War, various short games and so on. The food menu was superb. Other than the normal 4 meals every day, lots of season appropriate munchies were also available besides tea and coffee to fight the cold.

All the above activities were the icings on the cake but the life of the event were the 2 evenings.

The first evening was the formal one. In the last few days, many friends had shared old photographs and almost all had shared the current pictures. A friend compiled all these photos in to a slide show with a very emotional song playing in the background. This was a befitting beginning of the evening transporting us quarter of a century back in a couple of minutes.

This was followed by inviting each one of us on stage alphabetically where all the ex students were honoured with a Rajasthani Safa (head gear), the spouses were honoured with a shawl and the children were also given a small gift each. This gave us the opportunity to correlate friends with their spouse and children.

In my opinion, this opportunity could have also been utilized to let the friends tell more about themselves, share their journey of the last 24 years and introduce their family members. But this would have prolonged the programme too much and thus was skipped.

To break the monotony, a dance troop was arranged to perform on the latest hit numbers. This naturally encouraged the spirited ones to shake a leg or two along with them. The highlight of the evening was a Kathak performance by a mother daughter duo from amongst us. This young girl has a special place in my life. She was the first kid born in my close friend circle. I was so moved then that I wrote my first, and till now last, poem on that occasion. Her mother told me that she still has that poem preserved.

My daughter also performed a western dance which was naturally a moment of pride for me & my wife. We too had planned to perform a duet dance but her recent illness and incomplete recovery prohibited that.

The formal programme ended around 11 pm and this gave us an opportunity to do what most of us wanted. We invited the friends and their family members to come on stage and share with us whatever they wanted.

Now we came to know that among the spouses were PhDs, Finance Professionals, Lecturers, Teachers, Business Women and proud home makers. There were children studying engineering and architecture in IITs, BITS, VIT, NITs, etc. Some were pursuing CA or CS. Lots of them were in class 12^th preparing the foundation of their future. Most of them are writing their pre board exams these days but had still come over for some time. There were many younger kids too looking at these older ones with starry eyes.

There was more fun later in the hotel lobby which went up wee hours. The spouses and children retired to the rooms and we friends got a chance to recall & relive the wonderful years. The camaraderie was conspicuous and the laughter reverberating. Nobody minded the biting cold. It was around 5^oC but who cared.

The next day was filled with activities I mentioned earlier. There was provision for Kite Flying also. Although Ahmedabad is more famous for its Kite Festival held every year on Makar Sankranti i.e., 14^th January, but Jaipur also celebrates this festival with same fervor. Many of us used to get up at 4 am in the morning and would come down from the roof tops only late in the night. It was a treat to watch young boys aged 45+ shouting and jumping with joy every time they would cut the thread of the competitor’s kite. ‘Woh Kataaaaaaaa’

For children, there were horses and camel carts to ride. Since many children were born outside Rajasthan, camels were special attraction for them. Some ladies also tried their hand on cricket, something they might have done after ages. It was a carnival atmosphere all around.

This was also the time when people indulged in one to one interactions. Notes were exchanged, families were introduced and new bonds established. Anyone who had expected to feel bored during the day did not get a chance to feel so.

People started making plans for the next reunion. Courtesy a generous friend settled there, Brazil turned out to be the favourite location. Let us see if this choice will sustain or will we meet somewhere in Goa or Mumbai or some other lovely location in India. But one thing is sure that we will meet again.

The evening was grander than anyone had imagined. Several kids and some spouses show cased their talent in singing, dancing, music and poetry. There was a live orchestra to aid them and also to liven up the mood. There was hardly anyone who did not dance and some did not stop at all. On the stage, on the dance floor, in the lawns and wherever they were. Impromptu wise cracks, jokes and leg pulling ensured nonstop laughter.

The weather was freezing cold and several bonfires were lit to help escape the cold. Peanuts, Chana Chor Garam, tea and coffee were also there to help.

The party ended at midnight but the fun continued till 4 am again in the hotel lobby. This time, spouses also joined and the mode of fun changed to singing, singing, singing and singing. If there were some other guests also in the hotel that could not sleep, we can only say sorry but actually do not regret. This experience was too precious to miss. If we were not to leave the next morning, this fun would have continued.

Today morning, it was not easy to separate. Every one said bye to each other many times over. The good bye session continued for almost 3 hours. Finally, we departed around noon with promises to meet again, soon. The hangover of the fun and bonding still persists. Since then, there is a flood of messages on our whatsapp group. I just saw a message inviting people for online antakshari from 10 pm onwards. The last 2 nights must be relived.

The common thread of most of the messages is the acknowledgment of herculean effort put in by the organizers. Some friends and their spouses put in tremendous amount of time and relentless effort to make this programme successful. Contacting people, getting their admission time photos from college office, pursuing people to join the event, finalizing the venue, putting in the initial investment, printing of brochures, getting mementos and gifts, planning the detailed programmes and conducting them, taking care of people’s needs, convenience and comfort was no easy task. Some friends made special financial contribution so that the event becomes grander yet affordable to all.

I really wish that everyone could have joined the event. The fun would have increased multifold.

Those were the days, my dear… (part 2)

Those were the days, my dear… (part 2)

With our college reunion just 5 days away, naturally, lots of memories are flooding my thoughts. Most of them are good, some bad and a few ugly ones. A lot happened during those youthful four and half years.

The occasion warrants that I first recall the good memories.

The best part of the college life was the friends. I made lots of friends, some of them very close ones. Most of these friendships have survived the ups and downs of last 28+ years.

Definitely, there were the usual activities like spending time together, watching movies, picnics, bird watching, teasing, leg pulling, studying etc. That does not make these friendships special.

Special was the attachment, emotional support and trust in those relationships. We felt confident to take on the world with them backing us. There was never an iota of doubt about their solidarity to our every cause, logical or not. There was never a fear of being left alone in the face of any adversity.

With some friends, the relationship evolved in to closeness with their family also, their parents, their siblings and even their relatives. These friends became our best friends. Even today, there is no dilution in that level of intimacy and closeness. In fact, after marriage, our spouses too have become a part of the gang, in their own right.

A few of these close friends came from the (comparatively) higher strata of the society. Their family’s average education, etiquette, sophistication, finesse, tastes, approach to social issues, topics of discussion was much better than I was exposed to. This gave me a chance to learn a lot on these fronts and refine myself. This is their biggest contribution in my life.

Whenever I got in to trouble, which was quite often, these friends stood like a rock with, before or behind me, as per the need of the hour. I owe a lot to all these friends.

We had a clear principle that no one will try to have an affair with any friend’s sister or sister’s friend since this could become a point of contention. This was strictly followed and it avoided several potential skirmishes. Yes, the society then, and we too, were not comfortable with our sisters having affairs.

It is not that we did not have our share of differences and tiffs. But the idea of breaking away never occurred. It has almost been like blood relations.

Being an only child meant growing up very lonely. I sorely missed, and still do, not having any siblings, especially sisters. I strongly believe that a sister can provide tremendous emotional support and helps you understand the opposite gender much better and vice versa. When we joined final year, a girl joined our college in first year. One of a close friend, an alumnus, had asked me to take care of her. During the year, we met and interacted a lot. Slowly, we got very attached and close. She became, and still is, one of the three Best Friends I made in college and also my God Sister. 1991 was a bad year for me. In those days she and the other two friends, provided me with tremendous emotional support. I do not know if I will ever be able to repay that favour. During these 25+ years, our relationship has only grown stronger.

On 5^th June 1987, on the occasion of World Environment Day, Institution of Engineers organized an Essay Competition. A friend’s father was the organizer and thus we too had to participate therein. I couldn't believe that I won that competition. This one win increased my confidence on my writing skills. The top 3 winners of the competition were interviewed on All India Radio, Kota Station. This was my first interview on any media. Second one, though very short, on Energy Conservation was aired on TV around 3.5 years back. Later the interviewer commended me on my oratory and it was a very encouraging compliment. Such incidents give big boost to our self image and confidence. I still remember carrying  a transistor radio to college for all my friends to hear the interview.

In these four years, I got exposed to Indian Classical Music. Through SPIC MACAY (Society for Promotion of Indian Classic Music and Culture among Youth), I got to watch the performances of so many legends of Indian Music. I even got a chance to personally interact with them. Gangu Bai Hangal (vocal), Pt. C. R. Vyas (vocal), Pt. Hari Prasad Chaurasia (flute), Pt. Shiv Kumar Sharma (santoor), Budh Deb Dasgupta (Sarod), Pt. Birju Maharaj (Kathak), Kumudini Lakhia (Kathak), Yamini Krishnamoorthy (Bharat Natyam), Swapna Sundari (I think Kuchipudi), Radha & Raja Reddy (Kuchipudi) are the artists I can vividly recall. Till date, I do listen to various vocal and instrumental artists very often.

I went on to become the Executive Member of SPIC MACAY Kota Chapter. This was my first responsible membership of any socio – cultural organization.

During this period, I developed a taste for English pop music and ghazals. Pankaj Udhas was my favourite singer. I remembered the lyrics of several of his ghazals and often attempted to sing (??) them much to the chagrin on the listeners. Whenever I feel nostalgic, I still listen to ghazals. Over time, I started liking Late Jagjit Singh also.

In English pop, I had no favourite singer but Michael Jackson, Price, Bruce Springsteen, George Michael, Madonna, Samantha Fox, Whitney Houston were the popular ones. I now think that my liking for English pop music was more to conform than the real one.

Many of my friends were also fond of English Novels, the taste for which I had developed just some time back. This helped me gain access to their collection and I read scores of them during that period. Got a chance to read some English literature also but could not develop a taste for it.

My interest in general knowledge and current affairs continued unabated and I kept reading, quizzing and debating a lot in these areas. Though there was no spectacular success in these areas but I believe that I could win some tacit recognition.

During this period, a neighbourhood friend was connected with Indian People’s Theater Association (IPTA). Through him, I got chance to see some plays and meet some prominent artists of Jaipur. Having participated in half a dozen plays during school days, I enjoyed those interactions. During our Final Year, I wrote and directed my first skit of 15 minutes’ duration. I thoroughly enjoyed this experience. I got a chance to indulge in dramatics in a big way some 19 years later in IPCL MGCC Officers Club where we formed our own theater group ‘Abhivyakti’.

I am not sure how to classify two exposures that I got in those years. I learnt a lot from them but also lost a lot because of them. These are the exposure to student groupism and politics.

After coming to college, for the first time I saw how deeply our society is divided by casts and politics. There was a Rajput Group, a Jat Group, an SC/ST group and a loosely held group of others. Some were associated with Bharatiya Janta Yuva Morcha (BJYM), some with ABVP, some with Yuva Janata Dal and some with NSUI. Then there were city based groups like Kota, Jaipur, Ajmer etc.

All these groups would clash with each other over one pretext or another. Strikes, mass bunkings etc were very common and frequent. We used to take support from external political forces to establish and sustain our superiority or safety. At that time, this appeared very critical to us.

I got deeply involved in these activities at wrong time of my career, in the final year. We even contested college elections and even participated in the campaigning for state legislative  and parliamentary elections. Though I learnt many things about power, leadership, politics, law, networking etc. but am really not sure whether this exposure added any lasting value to my life. In fact, I lost a lot because of this involvement. Will share about that some other time.

A major incident that shook our life and beliefs to the core was the implementation of Mandal Commission report. 27% of all government jobs were now to be reserved for OBCs besides the 22% already reserved for SC/STs. In those days, getting a government job used to be our biggest, if not the only, ambition. Implementation of this decision just when we were about to pass out took the wind out of our sails. It threatened our livelihood. Irresponsible statements by some politicians further vitiated the atmosphere.

Large parts of the country erupted in protest. We too, who strongly opposed this decision of government, jumped in to the fire. Strikes, demonstrations, lathi charges, arrests, stone pelting, Kota Bandh (general strike), black Diwali, post card campaign and so much more happened. Many students across the country lost their lives in self molestation and police firing. Many parents, including mine, also actively participated in the protests in whatever way they could.

Unfortunately, the agitation died due to lack of political support. No party wanted to be seen as anti – reservation. Some scrupulous elements tried to draw undue mileage by faking suicide and self immolation attempts. We could not convince or force the Government to reverse its decision and our life was charred & scarred forever.

This agitation taught me planning and organizing. It also taught me managing conflicts. It taught me to overcome and ignore the past. Our group had to partner with another group with whom we had fought bitterly & violently in elections and outside just a few months back.

I have deliberately left out one of the best memories of those days.