I Wish

Each one of us has a wish list. Many, like me, have a long one while some have smaller. Some of these wishes become goals and propel us in to persistent action. Some remain mere wishes and mostly unfulfilled. Some become expectations from others.

Some people have a clear idea of their wishes while some are often confused. Often the clarity is more about what we wish from others and lesser about what we wish from or for ourselves. Many times, I find people hesitating, to the extent of considering it selfish or mean, to have a wish for self.

I too have my own wish list. They are for and from self, family, relatives, friends, colleagues, society, polity, government and occasionally the world too. Many have got fulfilled, for some the progress is on track, for some I am yet to make any sincere effort while some seem impossible to be fulfilled.

Though the words wish and want are often interpreted differently but here I am using them interchangeably.

So what do I wish for and from myself?

First thought that comes to my mind is lots of money, for sure. I want to be able to fulfill all my responsibilities towards my parents, spouse and child. In fact, I would love to indulge and spoil them. I want to be taken care of. Actually, would prefer to be pampered.

I want professional success in terms of responsibilities, performance, contribution, position, recognition, reward and fame. I want to become and also be acknowledged as the Champion of Physical Asset Management.

I want to spend lot of time in the company of good friends, current and future ones. I want to have lots and lots of friends. I want to meet lot of talented people having proficiency in a variety of fields. They can be from industry, business, academics, government, politics, social work, media, films, TV, theatre, music, creative arts, fine arts, sports, adventure, literature, philosophy, religion, spirituality and what not. Each field is unique with so much to know about and learn from.

I want to pursue my hobbies and interests. I want to read a large variety of books, journals and magazines. I want to capture my experience and imagination by writing articles and books. I wish to explore my creative self by writing, directing and acting in dramas. I want to watch lots of interesting movies with amazing story lines and fabulous performances.

I want to learn to play some musical instrument amongst synthesizer, guitar, drums or octopad. I want to learn to play golf and lawn tennis. I want to learn at least 2 more languages, viz. German and Marathi. I come across people speaking these languages regularly in the course of my work and living.

I want to travel the world. See the nature’s bounty, admire human creativity, meet different people, enjoy the varied cultures and collect lot of fond memories.

I, somewhere, also want to be fully healthy free from any dietary restrictions or physical constraints.

I want to be more sensible. I should be able to differentiate more clearly between what is beneficial or harmful and act accordingly. I want to be more sensitive while dealing with people. In no case should I be a reason for discomfort, insult or hurt to people no matter how weak or poor they might be. I want to be more patient so that I can think through properly before speaking or doing anything. I want to be more careful so that I do not goof while working or handling people.

I want to be a better communicator. I want to be a great listener. I want to understand correctly people’s ideas, intentions, purpose and requirements better without the limitation of vocabulary, grammar or diction. I want to be effective while conveying to other what I want to.

I want to be more disciplined when it comes to time, health and money. It is so easy to be imprudent in these 3 areas. One of my favourite jokes since many years has been that, “whatever we like in life is either costly, wastes time, is bad for health or is married to someone else”. That should remain a joke only and not become a reality.

I want to add value to every life that I come across. I wish to be the most loved, trusted, respected and sought after person in the close & extended family, relatives and friends. I want to be more compassionate. I want to increase the zone of my benevolence to the society at large going beyond family, relatives & friends.

I wish a good a career for my daughter in the field of her choice. She should get best possible education and then a satisfying & rewarding work life. She should stay away from harm, evil influence and bad company. She should get a good life partner with whom she can lead a mutually fulfilling, enriching and blissful life. She should realize her duties and responsibilities and fulfill them. She should get loved and respected. She should lead a life of choice and abundance.

I wish good health and care for parents and wife. I want to contribute in fulfilling their wishes. I want to take care of them. I want them to lead a peaceful and happy life. In fact, I wish good health, peace and happiness for all.

When I look at the above list, I do not find any wish that can be ignored, neglected or given lower priority. Each one has a role in making my life complete and fulfilling. It is now up to me to have a balanced approach and do justice with all of them concurrently, congruently and coherently.

While I have a long wish list for and from myself, I also have a smaller list of what I wish from others.

First, I want people to have a wish list. That list should have a mix of short term requirements and long term goals. This will give them a sense of purpose and their life a direction. We can achieve something only if we know that we want to achieve it. They must understand what they need to add, enhance, correct or eliminate in themselves to fulfill these wishes. They must then relentlessly pursue those goals and keep adding more goals as the earlier ones get accomplished.

They must look at the big picture. Follow the cycle of plan, do, check and act. Live consciously and not as driven by circumstances. Live by choice and not by chance.

I want people to be much more disciplined in the areas of safety. They must remember that every time they take risks, they endanger several lives, besides their own. If they die while violating traffic and safety rules, it is least painful. If they end up crippled for life or in a vegetate state, the misery for themselves and family increases multifold. If they end up killing or maiming someone, there can’t be a bigger crime.

I want people to be honest, have integrity and honour their word. Don’t say yes if you want to say no. Don’t play blame games. Solve the problem at hand conclusively. Don’t hide your mistakes. Accept and learn from them. It’s ok to be wrong or to fail. None of us is born perfect. We all learn and evolve.

I want people to understand their roles and associated responsibilities & deliverables. Please do what you are supposed to do and not hide behind excuses and flimsy procedural lapses.

I want people to contribute first before expecting a reward. Be more polite & considerate and less selfish or self centered. Do what is right for the society, organization or family and not only what is beneficial for your short term interest.

I want people to value their own time and others’ too. Come to meetings at time, finish the work within timeline and in case of slippage, inform the other stakeholders.

I want this world to be a safer place to live in. I want to be surrounded by people whom I can trust. I want peace around me.

I do not know how many of my wishes, wants or goals will get fulfilled in my lifetime. What I know for sure is that I will consistently and persistently pursue them till the last breath. 

Let's Talk

Yes, this is the title of the series of my blogs. But why? Let me take you to the origin of this thought.

My first training programme, in the area of personal effectiveness, was for some teenagers of our township in 2003. Having no prior experience in this work, I decided to consult a few knowledgeable friends interested in similar activities.  

We had a common impression that most youngsters are unable to convey properly what they think and know. They find it difficult to think, visualize and learn. Somewhere on the way, they lose self esteem & self confidence and end up with poor self image.

Exposure to structured and meaningful communication, in a comfortable company, appeared to be a good tool to help them start their journey towards self fulfillment and unleashing their potential. We felt that, conversation will be the best form of communication to start with. That’s how ‘Let’s Talk’ was born.

We invited 15 children, from the township, studying in class VII – IX to attend the programme spanning over 3 evenings for 3 hours each. The success of the first programme encouraged us to conduct many more.

The structure of the programme was very simple. They were given the following conversational tasks, which they had to execute one by one. Others were to listen quietly and attentively. No one was to object or criticize whatever anyone says.

1.    Please introduce yourself and also tell us about your family, hobbies, interest etc.

2.    Whom do you love the most and why? (the answer was never I)

3.    What all do you like about yourself?

4.    What were your first thoughts when you heard about this programme and what are your expectations?

5.    What do you like about each of your co-participants that either your already knew or noticed during this programme?

6.    Assuming you are in presence of God, who can give and do everything, which one wish you will like him to fulfill?

Some kids were extrovert and spoke freely. Some took time to open up. But by the second evening, all of them were participating actively. Their discomfort was very evident when they were asked to praise themselves. We all get so much negative feedback from the environment that we find it difficult to believe that we are the best creation of God. However, one girl mentioned 28 things that she liked about herself. All of them could share at least 5.  They were less uncomfortable while praising others but very uncomfortable in accepting their own praise from others. I think most of us find it difficult it is to listen, acknowledge and accept our praise from others.

One thing I like about children is that they do what you ask them to. They didn’t ask how can God be here, what’s the use, will God really give them what they ask for? They just asked Him whatever they wanted.

Most of the participants have now completed their studies and become engineers, doctors etc. as per their choice. I wish I knew if that programme helped them in this.

What I know is that I personally learned some key lessons from that programme. The biggest is that communication is our lifeline. Right communication can have profound impact is shaping and improving the quality of our life.

Communication is not only what we tell others. It includes what we read, absorb and implement. It includes what we listen, understand and accept. It includes what, how and when we think and share. It also includes the messages that we give to our self. It is how we carry, conduct and present ourselves. It is also what we observe, conclude and learn. It can be verbal or non verbal. It can be oral, written or a combination. It is even though our actions.

Communication tells others about our capability and intentions. We can communicate largely without any aids though sometimes they can help enhance the effect. Interestingly, most important messages don’t need or can’t be done through words.

One big benefit of communication is learning. To communicate properly, we must know or learn the subject. If we are engaged in a conversation, we have to think, compose and speak quite fast. Good communication develops a person’s intelligence as well which is nothing but the speed of learning and thinking. Also, what we hear, read or observe improves our information and knowledge.

Good communicators are often popular. Good communication does not mean talking more. It means talking right, as per the situation. They understand when they have to be serious, humorous, intense or funny. They know when to be soft and if absolutely necessary, when to be hard. They can listen with empathy. They are able to initiate, establish and sustain relationships.

In fact, communication is nowhere as important as in relationships. Trust, compassion, consideration and respect are conveyed best through communication.

So what is a good communication?

Good communication is purposeful. It has an intention to fulfill or a goal to achieve. It is crisp. It uses minimal words or actions to convey the intended message. It moves forward on the track and not in circles or tangents. It flows freely. Too much, hmms and haws, long pauses and fidgeting obstruct it. Good communication is respectful unless embarrassing someone is the actual intention. It makes the listeners or readers comfortable and excited. They want it to continue.

If the communication happening is verbal, vocabulary and grammar are very important. In non verbal, the choice of gestures and action has to be culture and context appropriate. It should put forth the facts correctly and logically based on proper analysis.

In my opinion, the most interesting form of communication is a conversation. Also this is the most commonly used form. It is a two way dialogue and not a monologue. We get immediate feedback whether verbally or through expressions and gestures. We can be questioned, challenged or objected to. We do not completely control the other person’s response and thus need to continuously maneuver the interaction to keep the discussion on track.

There is no chance of rethinking, editing, correcting or rephrasing. A word is spoken only once and is forever. We can back up our vocabulary with diction, expressions, gestures and postures to increase the effectiveness. Same word or sentence can mean so many different things.

A good conversation can be very stimulating and though provoking. But done improperly, it can lead to disputes, altercation and souring of relations as well.

Unless discussing something very grave, wit and humour, used judiciously, lighten up any communication. The type of humour, however, depends upon the mutual comfort level of the participants. Being humorous does not mean being obnoxious or insulting. One should avoid criticizing others, especially those not present. Then it becomes a gossip and is nothing but waste of time. Positive or constructive criticism is welcome but with due permission of the person being criticized.

Brevity and crispness of messages make a conversation more effective. The listeners are more likely to stay in the conversation that way.

Many people are visibly uncomfortable with conversation, especially with people from opposite gender or higher position. They fear that they will be rejected or ridiculed. They fear that they do not have enough substance or linguistic capability to communicate the available substance. Thus they will get exposed or misunderstood. So many capable people under achieve in life because of this.

They must appreciate that God has not blessed any one with the ability to read others’ minds but has enabled almost everyone to hear and understand.

The most important conversation we have is the one with our self. What we tell us about our purpose, our vision, our capabilities, significance of various factors, others’ relation to us etc. greatly influences our self love, esteem and image. Knowingly or unknowingly, we start living our self image. If I were to get the powers to change one thing about any person, it would be their self image.

Conversation, or any form of communication, is a skill. It can be learned and then improved by practice. Knowledge might be the engine but communication is the wheel on which the society or business runs. A creaky wheel retards the progress.

Communication is less about words and more about effect we have on others and how we get affected by them. Effectiveness of communication hugely impacts the success and quality of life of a person. It is in every one’s earnest interest to continuously improve this skill.

Look at the Big Picture

A manager frequently needs to guide & advise his team on ways to accomplish a task or achieve a result. This is more vital if the team members are new to the task at hand or the complexity is more than previously encountered.

If the success of the task is more critical, then regular monitoring of progress vis a vis mile stones is also important. Otherwise, it may be too late to change the outcome or a lot of rework and time may be required to rectify the lapses.

By manager, I am not referring to any designation. It means any one in a role, position or function responsible for getting a task accomplished through a team. Some members of the team may be under his direct control and some may be associated for supporting his task sitting in some other block of the organization or sometimes even in other organizations.

Is being in a managerial position enough for a person to discharge that responsibility? Many times yes and sometimes not.

What does it require for a manager to be really able to do what is expected from him? How can he surely accomplish the tasks entrusted to him? How can he appropriately guide the people depending upon him?

In my opinion, the first thing a manager should clearly understand is the result expected from him. A manager is responsible for results and not for processes or activities. A path is right or wrong depending upon the destination. It is the result that determines the applicable strategy and requisite resources.

It also helps to know why that result is required, how does it fit in to the overall organizational goals and how the non achievement of that particular result adversely affects other units in the organization. In other words, what is the effect of achieving or not achieving the result or completing the task.

Next comes the ability to understand all the factors affecting or affected by the achievement of the result. These can be the inputs or resources needed. These can be the enablers and obstructions. These can be the processes involved. These can be the stake holders and contributors. This can be the interrelationship and interdependence of various factors. These can be the various steps involved in a process, the inputs & outputs of each step, intermediate results and effect of various variables on these results.

The above 3 paragraphs answer the quintessential questions of Why, What and How?

I consider the answers to the above 3 questions as the ‘big picture’.

 It is a manager’s ability to see this big picture that greatly influences his effectiveness. Coincidentally, this ability to see picture is not so common among managers. Let us see at some reasons behind this shortcoming.

In most of the organizations, seniority and / or excellence in current role becomes the basis for elevation to the higher role with enhanced responsibilities and authority. We must appreciate that each role, function or position requires a different set of competence.

Let us divide a typical organization in to 4 layers viz., Execution, Supervision, Management and Leadership. All the layers require 4 types of competence in differing composition viz., Technical (including cross functional), Analytical, Organizing and Human (including Communication).

At execution level, technical competence is most critical for a person to succeed. More often than not, he is given clearly defined task by his superiors and he is just expected to do the activity utilizing his technical competence. His knowledge about the processes and procedures and ability to apply them defines their proficiency. Ability to understand instructions and give feedback is enough on communication front. On human front, obedience, discipline and willingness to work in teams are the only expectations.

A supervisor is expected to have similar technical competence but be better in organizing and communicating. He also needs to understand how to utilize his human resources more effectively and efficiently.

However, a manager has to better at analytical, organizing and human competences. In fact, it is the analytical ability which the most critical. This is necessary to understand the Why, What and How of any situation. This capability helps him to understand the influencing factors, stake holders, processes involved and how to break them in to sub-processes and activities.

This ability also helps him to understand the remaining 3 quintessential questions of when, where and who. When helps him understand the sequencing which is important for planning and scheduling. An activity can be executed at various locations. The choice of location affects the resources required and available resources can influence the choice of location.

On human front, a manager’s key role is to decide the person whom a specific task can be assigned based on his competence. Thus he should not only know the competence needed to accomplish a task, he should also be able to evaluate the competence of the people at his disposal. Sometimes complete set of competence will be available within him and sometimes it has to arranged from outside. More often than not, there will be either a continuous or an express need to enhance the competence of the team members.

In my opinion, competence management and motivating the people are the two important aspects of human competence of a manager.

For motivating others, understanding human needs, sensitivity to their concerns, genuine interest in their well being, ability to bond and effective communication are required. Clarity and timing are vital factors in effective communication. Actually, communication by itself is such vast and interesting topic that it deserves a complete session.

Organizations must install a formal process to train people from execution and supervision levels to develop their managerial capabilities. It is also important for individuals to systematically put efforts to acquire the abilities necessary to discharge higher responsibilities.

But how to improve this ability to see the big picture? I do not think there are any academic courses that can teach this. This is more of a skill and can be learned & improved only by doing it again and again.

Creative visualization is a very good tool to enhance this ability. This helps one to run through the whole process from start to finish in his mind. One can imagine and change the course, sequence, factors and stake holders as per the outcome. This can be easily done alone and at any place or time.

Writing essays exceeding 1500 words on various topics in a structured manner is a very good way of practicing creative visualization. It will also often require acquisition of additional knowledge.

This essay should then be converted in to at least 60 minutes’ lecture or presentation. Use of power point is not necessary. Any media can be used to convey the message. Care should be taken not to put the entire text on display.

Organizing small functions and events is also a good way of improving the analyzing and organizing capabilities. In fact, my observation is that people who were and / or are quite active in extracurricular activities like elocution, debates, quizzes and organizing events eventually make better managers.

Another good tool is ‘mind mapping’ wherein all the aspects related to a situation or goal are mentioned on a big sheet of paper, at least A2 size, and various interconnections are clearly marked. This map can be extended to as many layers one wants to enumerate processes, sub processes and activities. This is a formal & pictorial representation of a brainstorming exercise. This exercise needs to be done by a team so as to get as many inputs & diverse views as possible. Everyone can contribute utilizing his skills and experience.

Whatever method is used, it is vital that a manager learns to see the big picture. Then only he will be able to strategize, prioritize, plan, guide, monitor and control. Because these actions will decide his personal and his team’s performance.

Give Me That One Thing

If I were given a chance to seek one thing that I want more, it will be the much enhanced ability to learn and apply the learnings. This is one thing that I wish for everyone in my life and perhaps even in the whole world.

The differential ability to learn and apply the learning is what determines the performance, happiness, success and growth of every individual, organization, society and country. This learning has to be commensurate with the desires, aspirations, goals and vision of that person or entity. That can be in the area of love, relationships, happiness, peace, health, hobbies, money, material pleasures, progress, growth, success and so on.  It has to be aligned with the environment, culture, circumstances and need of the hour.

The learning has to be continuous. We are living in a highly dynamic and hyper connected world. More people are travelling & migrating to new lands. Developments in one end of the world and ensuing benefits get communicated to the rest of the world at a rapid pace. The expectations of the users are increasing day by day. What was an acceptable competence, behaviour and performance some time back is considered below par now. There is more and more clarity about responsibilities, performance indicators and behaviour expected from various roles and positions. Newer technologies and better processes also demand continuous learning.

I recall from my younger days when seniority and ‘not being bad’ in current position used to be enough to get promotions. In those days, after every promotion, one had to again go through a probation period to prove his eligibility through performance in new & higher role and position. Most of the people used to grow only in the same vertical where they started their career. This chosen career was also, mostly, in direct continuation of the education one got in graduation.

System today has changed. People are expected to shoulder higher responsibilities associated with the aspired position while in the current position itself. They are expected to contribute in areas beyond and beside their normal role. They are expected to irrefutably demonstrate the capabilities distinctly needed for the next position. Promotion now is more of a legitimization of increased responsibilities and contribution.

More and more people are changing the verticals and functions. Lateral growth is as exciting as vertical one. Every change requires advance and continuous learning. Naturally, no one wants to give a different assignment to a rookie. The decision making authorities want to be sure that the candidate has the required competence and frame of mind to deliver the desired performance.

I myself started from production, went to teaching for short time, then to materials management followed by a very long stint in maintenance. While in maintenance I got involved in technical and soft skills training. Next stop was conformity assessment / quality assurance. From there moved to business management of maintenance services. Started with electrical maintenance, added instrumentation & automation and finally added mechanical. Over a period of time, the fields of energy optimization and then condition monitoring & reliability improvement got added. Later with change of job, operations management got added to my portfolio besides spares business. In these 8.5 years, got a chance to serve & learn about at least 10 more verticals in industry, infrastructure & energy sectors besides my longest served sector of petrochemicals.

The need for continuous learning is not only in professional world. We need to continuously learn in personal arena also. Expectations from and requirements in childhood, youth, post education phase, pre marriage days, post married life and after parenthood are totally different. As our children grow, we need to know about and learn about many more things.

Another important area needed continuous learning and evolution is relationships. At work we have to learn to consciously manage relations with superiors, peers, team members and inter related functions. We need to learn networking. In personal life, the relations with parents, siblings and friends keep changing. Introduction of spouse and children brings forth a whole lot of new relationships. Each relation is unique yet dynamic.

The need for continuous learning also comes with change of location or travelling. We need to learn different languages, practices, customs and cultures. We need to learn about the infrastructure and facilities there. We automatically get lots of information which becomes part of our database and might prove useful in some other context.

Whether we want it or not, try or not, we are continuous receiving lot of information from the environment. Television, news papers, social media, discussions at work & in personal space keeps exposing us to a large quantum of new or different information and messages.

Still, my own observation is that very few people are aware of the quantum and variety of learning they need to do in order to achieve the quality of life they aspire. Many people still believe that being good at the present requirement is enough to ensure their growth.

Why is it so?

One factor is lack of feed forward. Most of the times we give and receive feedback retrospectively. Where were we good or bad? What could we have done more or differently? But very rarely we give or receive advance and explicit intimation or information about the requirements or expectations. In school and college we study against a prescribed and published syllabus. Whereas in professional and personal life, we rarely come across a well defined or documented curriculum.

I have rarely come across a person who wants to perform badly, act wrongly and be a failure. In most of the cases, they are not aware of the expectations from them.

Second factor is the absence of objective evaluation of competence, attitude or behaviour. Most organizations still follow subjective evaluation methods. Personality assessment is still not widely prevalent and in fact not even accessible.

Third factor is laziness, inertia and short sightedness. Conscious learning requires effort. It requires sacrificing certain immediate pleasures.  Some short sighted believe that once they have secured a job, the need for learning is over. Some start to learn new or more things but are not able to sustain the interest.

Fourth factor is fatalism. Some people wrongly believe that whatever is in their fate will come to them automatically. This is not true. Even if everything is pre-ordained, that too can come only with the help of right effort. And right effort requires right competence, attitude and behaviour.

Many believe that it is someone else’s responsibility to teach them. They forget that the world and every one in it can only provide learning opportunities. It is an individual’s responsibility to learn. That is why in a class taught by the same teacher, all students score different marks. Same situation has different impact on various individuals.

Some people are not able to differentiate between information and knowledge. They keep reading, hearing & assimilating lots of things. However, anything is knowledge or competence only is it is applicable in course of our living.

Some people do want to learn but do not get sufficient support. While there are enough institutes available for formal education, very few proper institutes are available for continuous learning and development. Whatever is available is so costly that most people can’t afford it.

I also feel that there is a dearth of good teachers, coaches and leaders. The quality of learning opportunities being generated is not enough. A good coach can help individual realize and unlock their true potential. A coach can help people improve their learning ability. A leader is able to inspire people to aspire more and stretch to realize that higher aspiration.

I strongly believe that if we have to continually improve the quality of life available to each one of us, we must collectively create an atmosphere that demands, encourages and facilitates higher and accelerated learning. At the same time, each one of us has to wake to the need of continually enhancing our competence, behaviour and application.